I found that typing and blogging is something that I love to do, yes I know I don’t post but trust me there is like 7 blogs that I have not posted. This space for me is an element, a glass of wine and a chill playlist. While my chihuahua is under the chair and I keep kicking him because I keep forgetting he is there. Let’s get back into it, I’m at my element right now and I have been thinking about a lot so, Ima let It spill like bounty paper towels can’t collect (yes I am corny).
I’m stuck, I have so many things I want to do in life then to just work 8-5 job. I’ve had so many dreams and so many of them haven’t happen. I’m so stuck that I have contemplated getting a life coach, or a career conseler. I have so many ideas but, I tend to give myself to much negative feedback.
At one point I wanted to be a Zumba instructor, I loved dancing and dreamed at one point of my life to become a professional dancer. I looked into going into Zumba instructor, was going to pay for the classes but, was scared that no one would attend and I chugged that dream away. I wanted to do photography bought a camera but, my camera is sitting in my drawer. I want to be an interior designer I love looking and creating spaces, I always give advice to my friends and family but I just don’t know where to start. I want to start sharing how I reversed my hormones of my PCOS but, I don’t have the platform and certification to do so. I wanted to blog so I started that but, I don’t know if it’s hitting the right person, and if people are truly reading. I sometimes don’t post my blogs, it sits on the back burner until I read them over and over and edit them and just say “f**k it” and I publish them. I can go back to school but, to do what get a f**king degree on something I hate to do, something I regret, and be in complete debt just because.
I have so many ideas that I just don’t know what to do or how to even start. I know I am not the only one, you move 2 steps forward and get into it then, you keep your self frozen because, you don’t have the knowledge or know anyone that can help. I told you I’m stuck in a funk and I don’t know where to push.
I want to do something in life other then working and that’s everyone. I want to able to create or do something that makes me truly happy. Now that I’m at my 30s with no kids (f**king infertility) I feel like I need to do something for me. I want to wake up in the morning and go to work knowing that I’m getting somewhere, knowing that little by little it will pay off whatever I decide.
This funk got me f**ked up! SOS, I need to catch this dream catcher and starting living it.